Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Day 122: Letting Each Other Go... Too Easily...

If your brother wrongs you, go and show him his fault, between you and him privately. If he listens to you, you have won back your brother. ~Matthew 18:15

Recently I had a dear friend who begin to become very distant and different with me. At first I let it slide, thinking everyone has a bad day every now and then. But when I talked to her again twice during a two week period, her attitude became worse and more distant.

I begun to wonder, did I do something wrong? My mind ran over and over on what I could of done? What I could of said? Even what I could of written? I searched and wondered hard, but nothing came to my mind.  I started to become paranoid (Paranoia will truly destroy ya!)
I sat on it for awhile and even got sad thinking I had lost another friend over something I had no clue on (High School Drama... again.) Girls are truly the cruelest at times and I had gone through that too much, but this friend was different, she was truly one of the greatest friends I have had, so what in the world went wrong?.

I didn’t want to lose this friend, she was too dear to me, to not know the reason why our friendship had change? So I sucked up the courage and ask her. Something that wasn’t easy for me to do, but I felt I had to. I needed to know.

It turns out that she had, had a really bad month and was tired and hurt from a ton of bad news. She had no clue I was feeling this way and was unaware of her hurt towards me. It greatly hurt her to know about this, but we both were happy to know everything actually was okay.

What a relief this was, but how sad all of it could of turned out. I will admit that I started to get upset. I might have even  gotten to the point of avoiding her and eventually losing her all together.

I think too often we do this. We assume the worse, when in reality it’s something very different. We don’t realize what the other person is thinking. It’s not always about you and we let each other go, too easily, when two simple words can settle your problem and mend back your friendship, that truly was never gone.

My lesson today is...DON’T be afraid to ask, What’s wrong? It’s so worth it!

How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity! ~Psalm 133 :1


  1. I had an interesting experience today that would seem similar to this, Ryan.

    I was sitting with one of my schoolmates in the study lounge today. We knew each other, and that was about it, but recently I'd been noticing her making an attempt to be nicer towards me. For me, this was a good thing, because quite truthfully, I'd been her (one might say "Aquaintance") for several years and we had hardly said 5 words to each other, but truth be told, I looked up to her, even though she is three years younger than me.

    Well, anyway, these last couple of days she seems to have been making a real effort to talk with me, and hang out, and even smile and laugh with me. Today we were sitting and talking, and she said to me, "Can I be frank with you? When I first met you several years ago, I thought you were a total (b-word)"

    I was surprised. I mean, we hadn't even known each other. But she went on to say how she and another girl that I hung out with were at extreme odds, and how she thought I was trying to steal one of her other friend's boyfriends at the time, and how no one seemed to know much about me. It was a case of extreme first impression gone wrong.

    As it turned out though (and I explained this to her), I did have a crush on the boy in question, but when I found out that this girls friend, (who was also my friend), liked him, I backed down. And I'd had no idea this girl felt that way about me.

    She told me then that what had changed her mind was that she suddenly realized that no one really knew me or what I was like, so she decided to try and get to know me instead of judging me. And she told me, "That's when I found out that, hey, this girl wasn't mean or snobby or anything... she was just really quiet, but she was cool to hang out with."

    So, though it wasn't quite the same experience as what you listed above, it was interesting, and it was how I gained a friend within the last semester that I probably wouldn't have had otherwise. ^_^

    1. Wow... I can’t believe anyone would ever think that of you. You are such a beautiful person, through and through. Someone who is actually rare to find... that’s something good! [:-)]
      I had a very similar experience with a friend and a guy... one that has taken years to mend. Sadly it’s something I see happen too often. You chose your friend over a guy and ended up getting hurt because of it... That sure isn’t how it should of ended up! You did the right thing and should be given a hug because of that and a thank you for being true and so kind. You will for sure be rewarded for it one day. I’m happy that girl grew a brain [;-)] and decided to see the actual and amazing you.

      Here is another blog post I did a while back you might like... (You don’t fit in this category... not one bit [:-)]


      In His Grace,